Why You Don't Give Me A Keyboard And A Song
by ThiefOfADHD
Summary: Based on What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie. Rated T cause it's not gory enough to be M (pm me if you feel it is and I will change it), Hurt/Comfort, Davekat sadness, if you thought that "Davekat Sadstuck Song-Shot" was sad (note: this is a rewrite of that, the story has been deleted), this will make you cry. ThiefOfADHD


_**I AM BACK FROM THE LIVING DEAD! So, I made this as a redo of "Davekat Sadstuck Song-Shot" (btw it is forever gone on this account, but as the internet is permanent, it's probably somewhere in bad fanfic places, yeah, that story is not my best work)**_

 _ **ANYWAYS! I decided to do this because I had a better version to do this to. Plot is still the same, almost, so have fun!**_

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 _[Quick note: Author is not responsible for emotional distraught or depressing thoughts and/or actions based on this fanfiction. Warning for those who are queasy at the mention of blood, overdose, death, mentions of suicide, and the occasional outburst. This fanfiction is based on the Death Cab for Cutie song "What Sarah Said", no lyrics will be presented in this fanfiction due to copyright reasons so deal with it]_

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 **6:48 pm [18:48]**

Dave was sitting in the ICU, shaking slightly. This was not a good day for him.

 **[Earlier]**

 **6:30 pm [18:30]**

Dave had just gotten home, it was a long day from work. Just the thing he had needed from that morning's outbursts.

 **[Even earlier]**

 **9:45 am [9:45]**

Karkat threw a pillow at Dave, yelling at him. Dave was yelling back, throwing pillows back at him. It was rare for Dave and his boyfriend to fight, it was even more rare when it would get nasty. Dave said some harsh things, something along the lines of "I'm tired of being near you" and "I don't want to see you ever again". Karkat didn't reply and Dave had went to work. He calmed down on his way there, and thought about his mistakes over and over throughout the day.

 **[Forward]**

 **6:30 pm [18:30]**

Dave had gotten home and went towards the bedroom of his and Karkat's shared bedroom. Karkat wasn't in there, the first thought Dave had was that Karkat was at work. After a minute of pondering, he remembered. Karkat didn't work on Fridays. Especially at night. Dave looked around fearfully, seeing Karkat's clothes were still there. He felt relaxed, until he heard it. Water running. It had been in the background the whole time, and he barely discovered it. His legs locked and his knees shook, he finally broke his statue-like stance and ran for the bathroom.

The sight of red water got his heart racing, Karkat laying in it was what got him screaming and crying.

 **[Forward]**

 **6:48 pm [18:48]**

It's been 18 minutes. The sight was still fairly fresh in Dave's mind. Karkat in bloody water, spilled sleeping pills on the floor, a blade next to the bathroom. The thought of it churned his stomach, tears were close to welling up in his eyes. He let out a shaky breath, telling himself that he'll be okay. That Karkat'll be okay.

He hoped Karkat would be okay.

 **6:50 pm [18:50]**

There were the sound of footsteps, a nurse walked up to Dave.

"Mr. Strider?" Dave looked up at the nurse, who had a grim look on her face. "We tried all we could, but he had lost a lot of blood and there was a lot of diphenhydramine in his system. We're sorry for your loss." Dave's heart dropped, he started to tremble. He was hoping the nurse was joking and that Karkat would come around the corner and smile at him. But that didn't happen. The nurse told him to have a good evening and left.

Dave knew it wouldn't be a good evening. He'd have to tell everyone what Karkat did and he would have to go home and look at his apartment. All the small pictures of Karkat and Dave on several of their dates, movie nights with friends wouldn't be the same without him planning some of the movies, the bed would smell like him, the mess was still in the bathroom from what he had done. His clothes still remained in the dresser and the closet. His favorite books and movies and blankets and pillows will remain. Dave would remain. Everything would remain there, except for Karkat.

Dave didn't want that. He couldn't handle living with that. But he had to. He knew Karkat would want him to.

 **[A week later]**

Everyone had gone to Karkat's funeral. Dave didn't bother going up to speak, or carry him down to his grave, or talk to anyone for that matter. He just showed up like an old friend, a stranger. He had so many memories with Karkat. Spending mornings in college in coffee shops, one having a hangover and the other studying for a test that was gonna happen that day. The small movie dates and dinner dates and park dates. The one time Karkat beat him at a video game and it was Pac-Man in the arcade. The whole day at the fair where Karkat got tired as it got dark and they cuddled on a blanket as they watched fireworks. The small winter mornings where Karkat would cuddle up and get warm with Dave. Their first time together. The puppy they took care of for their neighbor.

Everything changed a week ago, but everything still went on as if it didn't happen.

Dave was cleaning out the apartment of things that reminded him of Karkat. Mostly his clothes. He stumbled upon a note, sitting down on Karkat's- well, he sat on the bed to read it.

 _"Dear Dave, I'm sorry about our fight this morning, I was being stupid. I know things have been rough between us and I know that I can get a little over-dramatic, you can too, but I can't stop thinking of what you said to me. I didn't know you felt that way about me. About wishing I was never in your life, about wanting to just go away for awhile. I know we never really spoke about our feelings for one another, and it hurt that you'd say that you didn't want me around. I thought everything was so real. I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, and if it succeeds, I want you to please keep going on without me. I just want you to know one final thing, Dave."_ The note continued on the back, Dave was already in tears, shaking. He turned it over, reading the final words.

 _"I love you."_

Dave broke. He was screaming in pain, sobbing. He had fallen from the bed to the floor, calling out Karkat's name. This was too hard for him.

He wanted Karkat back. He wanted him back to hold him and kiss him and tell him that he loved him too. But he couldn't. He can't get Karkat back.

And that is the harsh reality he has to face. The reality that he can't have his life continue on with Karkat in it.

And that's how it's going to stay.


End file.
